Teacher: What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
James: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Teacher: What does ‘coincidence’ mean?
Richard: Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing.
Mum: Do you know a girl named Jenny ?
Louisa: Yes she sleeps next to me in maths.
Teacher: spell ‘horse’.
Jimmy: H,O,R,S .
Teacher: And what comes at the end.
Jimmy: Its tail Miss.
Teacher: Name four seasons.
Sophie: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Teacher: In this exam you will be allowed ten minutes for each question.
Pupil: How long is the answer?
Teacher: What are you writing?
Pupil: A letter to myself.
Teacher: What does it say.
Pupil: I don’t know. I won’t get it till tomorrow.
Teacher: Tom, name three collective nouns.
Tom: The wastepaper basket, the wheelie bin and vacuum cleaner.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: A teacher.
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you all to answer at once. How much is six plus four?
Class: At once.